Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
