Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
