i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize