Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
