You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
