Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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