The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
