She announced her abortion via fbk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize