Who wears a wallet chain?!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize