im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
