so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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