We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
