yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
