She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
