I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
