Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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