yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
