we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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