I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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