well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
