Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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