yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
