I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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