you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
