I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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