help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
