i don't like sucking hair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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