And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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