Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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