weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
