So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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