: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
