Sponge bath it is.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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