either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wanna go halves on a baby?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
