Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
