you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
