I need to stop coming to work sober
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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