They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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