Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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