thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
