just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I bet he comes in French.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
