After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
