My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
