That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
