I want to stick my p in your. b.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
