just come out here and I will go home with you...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
