The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
