I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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