some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
