I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize