Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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