White coat. Heels.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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