Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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