Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
