maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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