All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
True college students do jello shots in the library
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
