That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
