The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
