Moan for me like Helen Keller
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
